:: Spinspeak Letter ::

Exposing Deliberate Pollution of the English Language: Spinspeak Rots the Mind.

“Bury forever what some Neanderthals call the language of reality. We know that breeds nothing but envy and hate and fear and conflict. Bring home the language of happiness. We know that brings all of us together in a great multi-cultural bouillabaisse...”

--Spinmeister-in-Chief Marvin Runnymede, Ultimate Severance

“Too bad about his terrible accident. Always hard on da family.”

--Mobster Joey “the Boy” Lasagna, Ultimate Severance

Some Latest Spinspeak Mintings for the Spinspeak II Supplement:

earmarks=innocent-sounding congressional cosmeticspeak for vaguely related pork inserted into legislation on behalf of a legislator’s constituencies and/or “contributing” special interests.

buzz marketing=adspeak for word of mouth promotion via paid talkers

miscount=universal fuzzball for excusing deliberately slanted numerical reports as a simple mistake

hedonic adaptation=psychobabble for rapid deterioration of happiness and return to general dissatisfaction after something good occurs in your life such as a raise in pay, a promotion or demise of a rich aunt.

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:: Tuesday, February 06, 2007 ::

New Ethical Congress Takes Up Foodspin

Voters should be happy to know that one of the first things that the new Democratic-controlled Congress has accomplished is to prevent wicked lobbyists from seducing innocent (but often hungry) congressmen with fancy dinners.

The new ethics legislation introduced by Majority Leader and Chief Ethicist Harry Reid (D-NV), master of pally real estate deals, forbids congressmen from accepting gourmet lures.

But, according to the latest congressional foodspin, the bill does not ban accepting “toothpick fare.”

As long as you’re standing up (admittedly a challenge for some of the thirstier lawmakers), it’s OK to fill up on hors d’oeuvres no matter how pricey.

According to the foodspin philosophy in the bill, maybe you can buy votes from a “sitting” congressman with Dover sole in a dark candlelit restaurant, but a “standing” congressmen can not be had even with smoked salmon or Beluga caviar wrapped in pastry.

The foodspin in the bill does not make clear how many hors d’oeuvres you can have wrapped to go.

:: James Baar 2/06/2007 09:17:00 AM [+] ::
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