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:: Friday, May 06, 2005 ::
New Products from the Spinspeak Mills
Seven new spinspeak definitions for corrupted words and phrases currently befogging public discourse:
garden bunny = politically correct libtalk for Easter bunny that hops in an America where state and church are separated and the churches are preferably closed; assuages the sensitivities of the same delicate scolds who now erect holiday trees and hate seeing copies of the Ten Commandments on government property.
weapon = Pentagontalk for nuclear bomb. When one worries about the mullahs having weapons, one is not talking about scimitars.
retirement age = rubbertalk for what once was a fixed time of life. If asked, most Americans in the 20th Century at least would define retirement age as 65, an age established finally by law in the 1930’s when the New Deal generously promised everyone a Social Security pension at that age knowing that most people didn’t live that long.
insurgent = blame-America first and anti-Semitic libtalk for terrorists who blow up women, children and the elderly at random.
independent = political cosmeticspeak for the generally threadbare moderate label used to define the center, a position usually located somewhat more or less left of the mushy middle of the road.
heteronormative = bad mouth technogook for men and women who opt for heterosexual relations, strictly male/female marriages, creating children and raising them — all allegedly as an affront to homosexual and transgender special interest groups.
scattering = funeral industry cosmeticspeak for sprinkling mother’s ashen remains over her favorite beach, country road or mall parking lot.
:: James Baar 5/06/2005 11:24:00 AM [+] ::
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:: Tuesday, May 03, 2005 ::
Kisses from Spotlight
Not too many years ago the gutter phrase “wet kiss” might or might not have signaled a welcome event for its recipient.
Not so any longer according to Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) who says that Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist’s judicial filibuster compromise is “a big wet kiss to the far right.” The implication is clearly that “the far right” (undefined) will be delighted to engage in what teenage boys in once private male locker rooms referred to as “spit swapping.”
In the Dark Days of the mid-20th Century before MTV this phrase was absolutely regarded as gutter language and even today it is hard to find it in dictionaries. Sen. Reid, a self-described “small town boy” from Spotlight, Nevada (pop. 2000), possibly picked up the phrase while dining at one of Spotlight’s principal attractions, the Nugget Casino and Restaurant, a short run down Route 95 according to the Internet from the Wild Cat Ranch, one of Nevada’s numerous legal bordellos.
:: James Baar 5/03/2005 10:42:00 AM [+] ::
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