:: Spinspeak Letter ::

Exposing Deliberate Pollution of the English Language: Spinspeak Rots the Mind.










“Bury forever what some Neanderthals call the language of reality. We know that breeds nothing but envy and hate and fear and conflict. Bring home the language of happiness. We know that brings all of us together in a great multi-cultural bouillabaisse...”

  • --Spinmeister-in-Chief Marvin Runnymede, Ultimate Severance
  • “Too bad about his terrible accident. Always hard on da family.”

  • --Mobster Joey “the Boy” Lasagna, Ultimate Severance

  • Some Latest Spinspeak Mintings for the Spinspeak II Supplement:

    earmarks=innocent-sounding congressional cosmeticspeak for vaguely related pork inserted into legislation on behalf of a legislator’s constituencies and/or “contributing” special interests.

    buzz marketing=adspeak for word of mouth promotion via paid talkers

    miscount=universal fuzzball for excusing deliberately slanted numerical reports as a simple mistake

    hedonic adaptation=psychobabble for rapid deterioration of happiness and return to general dissatisfaction after something good occurs in your life such as a raise in pay, a promotion or demise of a rich aunt.














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    :: Tuesday, April 22, 2003 ::

    Just wait: Now Comes the Hard Part.


    Peaceniks, Appeasement Firsters and Blame Americaites have spun a new meaning for the overworked glib one-liner “now the hard part” – Halloweentalk for optimistically stigmatizing a plan as all but impossible lunacy.

    For weeks, they forecast in hysterical spinspeak that the U.S. liberation of Iraq would in various order result in thousands of bodybags returning to America, killing tens of thousands of civilians including mostly women and children (presumably those not already starved to death by U.S.-favored sanctions), a Viet-Nam quagmire, an explosion of the Arab Street, a massive Scud attack on Israel and an Israeli nuclear response, igniting thousands of oil wells and a consequent apocalyptic environmental nightmare, massive attacks with (presumably newly-found chemical and biological WMDs), weeks of Mogadishu house-to-house combat for which U.S. troops are ill-trained, a stalled invasion, a failed battle plan, and worldwide terrorist attacks by a hundred newly-created Osama bin Ladens.

    The script could have been written by Iraqi Chief Flack Baghdad Bob or NBC’s Peter “Aid and Comfort” Arnett. Obviously, any chance of success was ridiculously miniscule.

    But, since none of the foregoing actually occurred, the successful U.S. policy to date is being renamed the easy part. The forecasters of instant doom say don’t despair for now comes the hard part. Surely, they say (broad smile), U.S.-led coalition plans to rebuild a free and democratic Iraq can’t possibly succeed.



    :: James Baar 4/22/2003 01:55:00 PM [+] ::
    ...

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